Welcome to my blog! I am expecting a ridiculous amount of laughing, tears, and all around hilarity this semester so I am inviting you on this once in a life time journey to experience the world of student teaching with me. Brace yourself for what is sure to be an all around bumpy ride! I'd like to start out with a few stories I have heard over the past few months and give you a general gauge of how I'm feeling.
Our journey begins Saturday, January 7th, 2012. The first official student teacher meeting; our fate. Several student teachers from last semester took the stage and allowed us a glance in to our future.
The first was rather unmemorable except for the fact that he looked like a jitterbug fidgeting all over the place so we will skip right on to the second young man. He began telling us the tale of his student teaching and how he became a major volunteer in the PTA and ended up having to split his study breaks up with baking goodies for the Moms teaching us all that you shouldn't always say yes. He then continued on to the main attraction. In class he noticed one of his quieter students looking sullen. As we have been instructed, he got eye level with his student and asked what was wrong. Just as he got the words out the student proceeded to projectile vomit. . on his face. This my friends was not the worst part. . After all he had an extra shirt in his car, what's a little vomit between friends? Well sadly the student had eaten a nice big peanut butter and jelly sandwich before this display and alas our friendly student teacher is allergic to peanuts. He had to shoot himself with an epi pen and wear the reminder (horrible welts all down the left side of his face, neck, and chest) the rest of the day. If that is not commitment, I don't know what is. This is the welted face of competition ya'll.
The second memorable speaker was student teaching in Kindergarten. She was going along fine and actually feeling confident in her wrangling abilities (as that is a lot of what kindergarten involves) when it all hit the fan. Figuratively of course, no poop in the fan today. She began lining her students up for dismissal and marching them down the hall when she saw a paper towel wadded on the ground at a distance. Upon further examination she identified it to be a TURD! An actual poop laying right in the middle of the hallway. Come to find out one of her precious kindergarteners had wiggled that bad boy right out of his britches. No one could blame him because who wants to have a stinker like that following them around all day? I'm tempted to try this out the next time I run in to an intoxicated person. . I'll let you know how that goes.
Another hilarious story I heard from a teacher friend of mine involves a bad case of the ouchies. Little Georgie* ran up to his teacher, tears running down his face, and yanked up his pants to display the bloodied knee he acquired by what one can only imagine was obtained by a wicked rug burn. The teacher knelt down to tend to him only to discover that little tear stained Georgie had pulled his pants up so high that his little man business was hanging right out for all to see. She tried to discreetly get him to lower his pants but he was distraught telling her that it hurt to bad! Here she is with a blood stained child crying hysterically with his hanging out for all (the second graders) to see. There was only one option friends; she sent him to the nurse.
As you can see, I have a lot to live up to. I can only hope that in a situation like this I have the ability to stay straight faced, to actually jab an epi-pen in my leg, and to always remember to send those awkward little turtles to the nurse. Can second graders get arrested for indecent exposure?
*All names have and will continue to be changed to protect the subjects from any embarrassment, shame, or general discomfort.
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